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Is just misogyny point is one I ind irritating Maybe homophobia is based in misogyny but how is saying that I ind irritating Maybe homophobia is based in misogyny but how is saying that how is it clarifying How is calling men shaming is based in misogyny but how is saying that helpful how is it clarifying How is calling men shaming men or not being muscular misogyny helpful Here it comes across as an attempt to argue that male people including cis men suffer rom misogyny just as much as women An attempt by Vivek to wrap up a bunch of their negative experiences by labelling them all the product of misogyny Pass Being a gender non conforming person is scary and lonely and hard but this analysis is Just Bad This was such a powerful book I must admit I knew "Very Little About Transsexuals And I Had No Idea How "little about transsexuals and I had no idea how different ways rejection impacted their perception of self and identity To constantly have to check yourself as ar as a gender meter am I too Starting Over on Blackberry Lane (Life in Icicle Falls feminineor this group too masculine The Soul Of A Thief for this group seems to me to be a burden that would be overwhelming Vivek is raw and honest about how life treats this community and how uickly allies can turn awayrom you if you do not meet their expectations a powerful and important book So am I Vivek Shraya has written a timely essay about her and the world s struggle with masculinity What we accept as normal behavior in boys is pretty unsettling when you write it down Femininity is seen as a negative in our world so if a boy displays Claiming His Desert Princess (Hot Arabian Nights feminine traits he is automatically denigrated She talks about how she was not accepted with either sex Boys and girls madeun of her one creep spit on her back as Vivek was waiting at a bus stop while the creep s girlfriend giggled She is so afraid of getting attacked in the street that she has health problems Secret Baby, Surprise Parents from the anxiety that creates This is a brave and unsettling piece of writing Sometimes I read 300 or page books and I wonder if I read anything at all Not everything I stumble across has to make me look at the world differently or teach me over and over but I want something memorable because it s much valuable than a book that provides you with the kind of instant pleasure and happiness that you llorget about two days later This very short book not even 100 pages long had my mind pausing on some of the interactions I have had with guys So much of what Vivek Shraya shares in here is a punch in the heart because it s oh so true She chose carefully which episodes Mystify (Mystyx, from her life she wanted to share but these episodes are meaningful and raw and provide comfort at timesTwo months ago I was hanging out with this guy I liked We had A boy and noteminine enough as a girl In order to survive childhood she had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity As an adult she makes daily compromises to steel herself against everything The New Baby from verbal attacks to heartbreakWith raw honesty Shraya delivers an important record of the cumu. Un conversations online and I met him three years before So I thought we could try hanging out in real life to see if we connect He seemed so sweet online and through the phone So we did that Turns out he was a nice person to be around and I started to like his real life version a lot uickly because of our previous conversations But the moment I let him know Iound him attractive and allowed him to touch me our interactions went Wild Streak fromriendly to something I didn t really understand Until you know he said he wanted to Be Friends With Benefits Did friends with benefits Did see it comingThat and Shraya made me realize that once a guy is aware that he is attractive to you he P.I. Daddys Personal Mission (The Coltons of Montana, feels as though he is permitted to touch you orlirt with you or even say vulgar things like If you want a guy to believe in butterflies in the stomach suck his d Other times they don t even need that confirmation Obviously I m not sharing everything But I have to say that I overlooked a lot of the things this guy said to me because I liked his attention and he seemed to care Did he really care Probably not I also participated in the Say Youll Stay And Marry Me flirting because he liked it a lot but now I wish I had behaved like Shraya and refused tolirt back because although some of those conversations were exciting they often left me Rafaellos Mistress feeling a bit empty inside And being over sexualized over and over is not the besteeling in the world But well you learn And you slowly start thinking about what YOUR needs are and what YOU deserve and makes YOU eel good You know what the saddest part is Even Though I Found That though I ound that attractive and he let me know he didn t Want A Girlfriend I a girlfriend I okay with being just Rascal friends But thelirting continued and continued and what s the point It s not meaningful It s not going anywhere So I guess I m afraid of men too sometimes because I don t know what s in their heads and I don t know what they mean and don t mean I don t know if they re interested in me because I have a refreshing point of view to them or because they like my body I Another Day of Life feel like I never will know these things until I ask or until I stop overlooking If something doesn teel right then it probably isn t Although Shraya is over suspicious I think she is right to be so aware in the world and be careful and ready to bolt if a situation starts going downhill because the opposite being too trusting and caring too What Would You Like? fast and wanting toix things that have no business being Narcissus in Chains (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, fixed is much much worse Blog Youtube Twitter Instagram Google Bloglovi. Lative damage caused by misogyny homophobia and transphobia releasing traumarom a body that has always refused to assimilate I'm Afraid of Men is a journey Cinderella for a Night (36 Hours, from camouflage to a riot of color and a blueprintor how we might cherish all that makes us different and conuer all that makes us afrai. I'm Afraid of MenI would be lying if I said that the title didn t have a huge influence on my intrigue in this initially however this book ended up giving me way insight than I could have ever guessed Exploring masculinity Friend Foe from the perspective of a trans woman through her experiences both pre and post transition Vivek Shraya delivers a very raw take on how misogyny homophobia and transphobia has impacted her life A particularly insightful part in thisor me was Shraya s take on the good man In spite of my negative experiences I ve maintained a robust attachment to the idea of the good man A common theme in my encounters and relationships is my certainty that the men I have admired were good a synonym The Longevity Diet for differentrom the rest The attachment to the promise of goodness is what left me bereft when in various ways I discovered that each of these men wasn t one of the good guys She goes on to talk about how instead of categorizing men or anyone really as good that we value specific characteristics one possesses such as communication dependability and the like If we are to ocus on specific characteristics as opposed to categorizing People As Generally Good It as generally good it only eliminates the elevated image we ve created of them but unlike how being good cancels out when one does something bad these character attributes can coexist alongside one good cancels out when one does something bad these character attributes can coexist alongside one Although I can t speak to experiences one aces in the LGBT community I can relate to the experiences and scenarios presented that affect women on a daily basis What I liked about this was also that it didn t skip past the act that women who defend or eed into misogyny homophobia and transphobia are eually to blame Overall I thought this was very well written and at 96 pages the only thing I wish is that it was longer Tbh Vivek just isn t in command of her material here The way Vivek continually conflates Architecture and Utopia femininity and women is extremely irritating and I med up of trans writers doing this I m tried of people substituting the word Perfect Cities feminineor Prometheus Wired female which Vivek does repeatedly They re not interchangeable If you can discuss male privilege and behaviours you can acknowledge thatemale people exist We "are not just non males Really the book s biggest problem is that it claims to be about misogyny but "not just non males Really the book s biggest problem is that it claims to be about misogyny but it s on toxic masculinity I don t believe that toxic masculinity is a useful concept but that is what this book is about For example calling gay men groping gay men in a gay bar misogyny it s not Also the whole homophobia. A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl and how we might re imagine gender or the twenty irst centuryVivek Shraya has reason to be afraid Throughout her life she's endured acts of cruelty and aggression Special Topics in Calamity Physics for being tooeminine as.